Cupeth running over?

Some would say that I am a pessimist, but I have always preferred to think of myself as a realist. I embrace both the negative and positive in life; could never appreciate life otherwise. With the holidays rapidly approaching, I am reflecting on what makes the holidays memorable and meaningful for me. Coming from a highly dysfunctional family, the memorable aspects come quite naturally, and most usually in abundance. But what makes the holidays meaningful? For me, it is spending some quiet, stress free, time with the people that I love. This year, I am fortunate enough to have Vivien home for the holidays. We have never spent Christmas/NYE together, and I am elated beyond belief that we'll get to spend some down time together this holiday season. With working full time, and Vivien finishing his thesis, we haven't really had the chance to spend much quality time together. We have decided to spend Christmas in Ottawa this year, and with Vivien here, I do not need anything more. We'll bake cookies, watch cheesy Christmas themed movies, and take long walks along the snowy banks of the canal. We'll witness the glee(more like mischief) in Keats eyes as he plays soccer with his miniature soccer ball. Home is wherever I'm with you.

All I want for Christmas...

is this bicycle. The specs look pretty decent, and I yearn for a bicycle that is fairly compact, aesthetically pleasing, and fully functional...check it out at www.gocycle.com

Go organic...

If you are prone to indulging in any of these tasty fruits, please be advised that these 12 in particular have made the top of the list(www.foodnews.org) in regards to the amount of pesticides that are used on them...peaches scoring the highest: with a whopping combination of 53 different pesticides! With their relatively thin skin, you can only assume that most of the pesticides have seeped into the interior of the fruit...apples came in second; ridden with 50 different varieties...so unless you're eating organic apples, the old adage of 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away', no longer applies. Strawberries have no skin to act as a shield against the 38 pesticides used on them; so definately shop organic when making your fabulous strawberry and spinach salad. Also, make sure to check out the EWG's Foodnews site, as it contains a shopper's guide to pesticides.

Just another reason why I adore Isabella Rossellini...

Very informative...for instance, I never realized snails were hermaphrodites, producing both spermatozoa and ova! check it out...
http://www.sundancechannel.com/greenporno/

In the clearing...

It was never a question of morals; as there would never be refuge for a restless mind like his. An unwavering dedication to details; he had logged his last thirty eight hours. Each minute detail underlined and highlighted; a tenderness permeating from the tea stained page. Each distinct word spoke loudly of his foreshadowed fate. It is in times like these, that I find myself running back to the year 1995. Reminded of the peculiar way in which we lived our lives, and how we were only then beginning to understand ourselves by way of one another. How easily we were moved to tarnish and feather others for misdeeds that were pale in comparison to our own, and this knowledge of our own abhorrent nature; we became too consumed by one another. The very structure of our lives was no longer enough to suit our moods, and so our hearts grew weary, and we began to withdraw from one another. In the end, he had convinced himself that only by way of his death could he make up for all of his sins. He could have written the handbook on the topic of self sacrifice, his own heart feasting on itself each and every night. There are only stolen moments now that exist for us; these fervent kisses that barely brush the surface of my life. There had been this crevice of solitude that we were both so diligently chipping away at; the firm belief that eventually this gulf between us would one day recede and our lives would meld back into one uniform mass. A precious landscape that only our feet would ever tread upon; a new language would be born. This dialogue will never be rejoiced in; for it now falls upon deaf ears, but within my dreaming imagery he is still very much alive and he is all mine. Some may refer to this as a burden of hearts, but by tucking him ever so deeply in the heart of me I am keeping that precious part of us safe, the part that only we ourselves knew of, the part that now resides in my memory alone. Because when I die, we will meet again, and in the clearing I know he'll be wearing his young again smile.

when in doubt...crochet?

The other night whilst working, I came across this article in the National Post...the article was based on survivors accounts of the L'Aquila earthquake in Italy. This old lady(98 years of age)...she had been buried beneath the rubble for 30 hours, and when finally rescued she admitted to reporters that she had whiled away the hours by crocheting! Other than a few scrapes/bruises, she was perfectly fine...and apparently had made great head way on her latest knitting project. Simply amazing.

Antithesis of wisdom...

I just wish people would regard nature with the same level of reverence and devotion that they reserve for their own personal God(s). Across the globe, environmental disasters are on the rise. And when disaster strikes, the majority of people turn to their God(s) for an answer...as though God himself had some part in the climatic atrocities that are wreaking havoc on our planet. In perilous times, people often turn to their religious faith as a means of solace; and ultimately a support to get them through their own personal tragedies. This particular aspect of religion does not offend me; what does offend me, is the fact that religious people willingly allow their faith to act as a shield of ignorance; placing too much emphasis on the role that their God plays in the outcome of their lives, and not placing enough of the onus of responsibility upon their own shoulders. This is most evidently portrayed in how human beings have treated their natural environment; with complete disregard, sponging the resources of their natural surroundings. It is a shame that children are not taught more about the planet, the environment, and how we should be striving for a healthy and balanced relationship with the earth. Our presence on earth has a direct impact; resulting in a ripple effect: generations to come are affected. Its natural resources are pertinent to our survival, and yet humans have chosen to ignore their relationship with the earth, and to take its offerings for granted. In any healthy reciprocal relationship, there must be give and take. Unfortunately, humans have been consuming its resources and giving very little back in return. This onslaught of environmental disasters and climatic change is not due to our tumultuous relationship with an invisible God; the changes are due to our very misguided and schizoid relationship with the planet. As humans, we have depleted the earths natural resources. Our unforgivable mistake; that we have treated the earths natural resources(capital) as if it were income items, when undeniably they are capital items. If we had initially recognized them as being capital items, we most certainly would have striven to conserve these natural resources instead of treating them as though they were expendable. People are finally now waking up the the awful truth; that in squandering these resources, we have ultimately threatened not only our civilization, but life itself. We have wreaked havoc on this earth to no avail; the result being, our current way of life has done irreparable damage to the planet, and any healthy equibrilium between the planet and its inhabitants has been lost. Instead of looking to God for answers, people should be adopting a more scientific perspective in regard to the earths status. We are at a critical point in our civilization; garnering the appropriate knowledge to shield ourselves is no longer enough: we must apply it. We need to adopt a more minimalistic approach to our lives; strive for that reciprocal relationship with the planet: tread lightly. E.F. Schumacher was absolutely correct when he stated that ' the concentration and expansion of needs is the antithesis of wisdom; it is also the antithesis of freedom and peace', and that 'Ever bigger machines, entailing ever bigger concentrations of economic power and exerting ever greater violence against the environment, does not represent progress: they are a denial of wisdom.' This sentiment brings to mind the great Law of the Iroquois that states, "In our every deliberation, we must consider the impacts of our decisions on the next seven generations." Can you imagine what the world would be like today if every person on this planet had shared in this vision? I reckon things would be drastically different.

the plight of an insomiac library monitor...

Oh, how I was disillusioned. Somehow I had convinced myself that signing on for a contract position at the UW library was a brilliant idea. I had entertained thoughts of whimsical evenings spent circulating the library's circumference; lovingly handling the multitude of journals and microfilms...breathing in the musty odour of aging volumes(refer to picture on the right); the outer linings of the bindings heavily laden with dust. I had romanticized my role as a Library monitor...which is easy to do, when faced with the grave yard shift; an insomiacs late night haven...complete with half done crosswords/sudokus, a clutter of empty tea cups, scone crumbs and intermitten gchat sessions. I was seduced by the prospect of dim lights, sheer silence, and the innocuous presence of studious students with their nose(s) stuck in a book. I could not have been more mistaken. The youth of today are an intolerable lot...they bear no respect towards the library's policies; nor the people who inhabit the same space as them. I made the mistake of foolishly believing that a library is still an establishment where people go to study, to learn...a quiet space...conducive to brainstorming, research, and fervent writing sessions...not conducive to rowdy pizza parties, gossipy tete a tetes, and full on make out sessions. Possibly I am just a stick in the mud; adhering to the diminishing policies of the past. Nevertheless, as dawn broke, I was bombarded by the rude awakening that this younger generation is sans manners; amongst a multitude of other necessary life enhancing skills. Unfortunately for me, that means my stay at the UW library is sure to produce a more stressful than whimsical experience, most likely resulting in several more silver hairs sprouting from my head. My only solace is between the hours of 4am and 6am, where very few students linger, and I am granted some peace of mind...and for a fleeting moment in time I can still cling to some of the romanticism I had earlier spoke of...where I can lose myself in the soft trickle of time...returning and stacking misplaced books to the appropriate book cart, jotting down entrance stats, and diligently taking note of the library's occupancy. As I write this, I realize that not all is lost...although the majority of patrons are riled up/disrespectful little twerps, the library itself is still an inspiring place to work... even if my position there warrants me to be a full fledged babysitter, there are certain behavioural management strategies that I delight in...such as shushing the students, and/or donning a rather menacing look as I traverse the library's parameters....oh the joys and woes of being a library monitor!

lightness of being

As the Spring season begins to take shape, I am looking to

shed not only my Winter skin, but also the dead weight of the previous

season from my tresses. A new beginning; aesthetically speaking that is. 2009 is proving to be a year of change(s); some welcome; whilst naturally, others are starting to show their true nature: cumbersome. I wish to rid myself of the 'heavies' of my life. I consider myself to be an emotionally weighted person...and yearn for a lightness of being. How exactly one acquires this, I have no idea. I reckon the best option for someone like myself, is to mate with someone who embodies this lightness, and therefore an equilibrium of our two natures will be established. I am reminded of Kundera's spin on Nietzsche's Eternal return, and how Kundera described lightness as a state in which nothing in our lives was ever repeated; that our very existence was fragile in nature because nothing we ever did would affect, or impact future generations...he deemed a life marked by lightness as insignificant, and not worth living at all. Hence the title of his novel 'The unbearable lightness of being'. I tend to disagree with Kundera, as I do not perceive anything unbearable in a life not repeated...I rather think it's a romantic notion; to live out ones life where every single action occurs only once, and will not be continuously regurgitated/reincarnated...no enduring mark on future generations, no apparent legacy to be left behind. The more realistic view, is that of Nietzsche: "the idea that an eternal recurrence of blind, meaningless variation—chaotic, pointless shuffling of matter and law—would inevitably spew up worlds whose evolution through time would yield the apparently meaningful stories of our lives." The act of turning meaningless to meaning... that is, after all, what we are seeking to do... is it not?

Ryan McGinley

I was made aware of Ryan via the Sigur Ros website. They chose one of the photos from his ' I know where the Summer goes' exhibit to grace the cover of their latest cd. Simply beautiful. Check him out. http://www.ryanmcginley.com/

My constant companion. He who possesses ebony fur; stricken with a shade of amber. He often lays low; contented to yield to silence, his demeanor hums softly of other worlds. At night, he sleeps at the foot of my bed; an outstretched paw intermittently taps the floorboards. I am forever made aware of his presence, and his purpose. Within the dark recesses of this mad place; I slumber in defenselessness, whilst his eyes are ever watchful and discerning; offering up slivers of light. We share a burden, he and I, the weight of the worlds woes are distributed upon our shoulders. Often, more so his than mine. Without this earnest devotion to one another, I would surely slip softly away...he washes me clean of all of my tidal pain; absorbing any fragmented remnants upon his own aspect. My only companion; he whispers while I sleep. His nighttime musings resonate a lingering sadness; his words freeze time, as they penetrate the ceiling and walls that surround.